BFF

Let this post serve as a warning to those of you who think you're safe when you post something online. Once said item has found it's way to the depths of the internet, it's never coming back.....except to bite you in the ass.

CP and I have a great backstory. Well, everyone else thinks it's great. I prefer the term, tragic, but whatever. I have friends who are begging me to write a book about it, but no one likes a story that doesn't have a happy ending.

He and I have gaps of time where we aren't exactly on a communicating basis. However, it doesn't mean that we aren't often thinking of each other.

Case in point...............

Over lunch one day he admitted to something I would never in a million years admit to. He googled me. Really? You couldn't just pick up the phone and call? You googled me instead? Did you find anything, stalker?

Thinking he found the usual stuff you'd find on a person that pertains to their job I didn't really think much of it except that it was kind of endearing that he not only did it, but then admitted to it. Then, my love for the internet changed forever when I realized what was floating around the web with my name attached to it.

Instead of googling my actual name, which will only give you boring news or magazine articles about my job or how to find me on Facebook or my father's obituary, Mr. Brainiac decided to try googling my screen name. Only one thing pops up. In ALL OF GOOGLE only one thing comes up on the screen. A Myspace blog that my best friend posted two years ago after a particulary humorous IM conversation after I had been hitting the sauce on Christmas Eve. Instead of using code names to create this blog, she used our actual screen names and just copied and pasted parts of the conversation into the blog. So, he pulled it up to show me what he was talking about and the second I realized what it was, I wanted to die.

May I present to you, the most embarrassing and humiliating thing linked to me on the internet. I almost rather wish it were porn, instead of this blog.
Oh, and contrary to what you might think, "BFF" in this instance stands for "Bad Fucking Friend". Even though, that's not really true in the least.


Monday, December 25, 2006

I luff you! Let me count the ways...

1) Me: warning...i am embarrisingly drunk

2) Me: you whiskey drunk fuck

3) Me: you my best friend

4) Me: i'll show him who's whore
Me: wait...ok..yes i will

5) BFF: will you still be my friend if i become a mormon???
Me: sure
BFF: promise?
Me: can mormon's drink
BFF: this one can
Me: i'm gonna eat some ravioli straight from the can
BFF: no one has to know

6) Me: i wonder if santa has come yet
BFF: no you were bad
BFF: he said fuck that shit
Me: yeah..pretty much..i'm such a hooker trash can

7) Me: i am shakin it so why aren't you bakin it

Ummm..................suffice it to say that I am absolutely horrified that the one person in the world that I wouldn't want to read this, found it all by himself by accident on the internet? Fuck me.

Granted, although I had been drinking, this blog is not far off from my everyday personality. However, I had no dignity left after he READ IT OUT LOUD TO ME. There was no where to run. I couldn't hide. As horrible of an ending as this could have had, I appreciate the fact that he found extreme humor in it and it did not deter him from allowing me to have his child.

I'll leave you with this..........

Me: "At least I spelled everything correctly."
CP: "Yeah, but you were missing whole words."

How brilliant is this kid gonna be?