The Final Straw

Disclaimer: What you are about to read is a bunch of whining and shouldn't be read by anyone who can't stand whining. Should you choose to continue reading, you can't say that you haven't been warned.

"Could you be pregnant?"
"Have you waited too long?"
"What if there was a way to find out you're pregnant moments after it happens?"
CLICK
"Congrats to Kendra Wilkinson who is expecting her first child."
CLICK
"Congrats to Giselle and Tom Brady who are expecting their first child together"
CLICK
"Guess what? Heidi Klum is expecting baby number 4"
TURN IT OFF!

*Log into Facebook where I get to see new photos of all my friends with their kids. Yippee. 87 messages posted to my friend Jill who just had a beautiful baby girl and a picture email from Megan who just had her second child, a super adorable little boy. LOG OFF!

*Go to my god sister's dance recital where I watch nothing but excited family members snapping pictures and video taping their little girls on stage. In case that's not bad enough, throw in the traditional "Daddy-Daughter" dance with a tear-jerking song. Just in case my heart is still beating, my godmother pulls me aside at intermission to tell me that she can't wait until we are sitting there watching my little girl on stage. She's been thinking about it during the whole recital. She scares me with how in tune she is with me sometimes. Smile politely and make a witty joke. Sink back into the seat for the second half of the show.

*Go to the gym and find the cutest group of pregnant women taking part in a pregnancy yoga class. My sister, on the elliptical machine in front of me, spots this before I do and tries to distract me from seeing them. I catch on because I'm smart like that. I appreciate her effort though. She is awesome.

The Final Straw? The one that broke this camel's back?

*Obnoxious Ringtone - Incoming call from my cousin.

Me: If you're calling me about the Real Housewives of New Jersey, yes I saw it and yes I am secretly in love with Caroline Manzo"

Cousin: I KNOW! I can't believe Teresa flipped that table. I hate Danielle.

Me: Let's devise a plot to never show her eyebrows on television again.

(awkward pause)

Cousin: Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo.................

Me: Oh my god, you're pregnant again aren't you?

Cousin: Um, yeah. I can't believe it. This is not what I wanted at all.

Me: (mouth ajar, staring into the wall of the kitchen like I could move it with the Jedi Mind Trick) Wow.

So aside from not being able to escape pregnancy and babies everywhere else in the world, I can't even escape it from my own family. Don't get me wrong, I love my cousin. She is one of my very best friends and was my biggest supporter when I decided to have a child and she was more upset when I wasn't pregnant than I was. This will be her 4th child. She isn't even 28 yet. She kind of needs another kid like she needs a hole in her head, but I love her and my 4th godchild just the same.

I just want to thank whoever it is up above that is torturing me quite like this and making it very difficult to become a stronger person out of it. Just in case I forget about not being a mom, I'll get the pleasure of watching my cousin go through pregnancy and have a child that will always be the exact same age as the one I didn't get to have.

On a good note, I took out some stock in Kleenex so I'm about to make myself a bundle.