Booty Calls

Okay, so here is the phone with the Charlie the Unicorn app that convinced me that this phone was "the one".  Is it really "the one"? Well, the jury is still out.

I'm a T-Mobile fan and this is the new Motorola Cliq.  I had every single intention of going in there the other day and getting a new Blackberry.  I go in, I'm looking at them and holding them and they were perfectly fine.   Then out of the corner of my eye, in the section I had no intention of even stepping foot in, I see bright lights and colors and shiny things.  I knew if I crossed over into the new "android" section that I was going to have a hard time walking out of the store without one.  In all honesty, the phone is more than what I really need but there against the wallpaper of snow covered branches, was a little icon with Charlie the Unicorn and that's when I knew.  It was meant to be. (The phone, not the ridiculous run-on sentence full of all sorts of grammatical errors.)  It spoke to me.  It said, "Shun the non-believers, Junket...shuuuuuuuun-uh."

So basically I have a phone that does everything but my laundry now.  It's beautiful and it's shiny and this time I was smart enough to say yes to the insurance.  (Once upon a time my Blackberry took a swim in the Gulf of Mexico with my Canon.  True story.)  Problem is...I don't really know how to use it.  I swear to Google, that new things pop up on the screen when I'm not even close to the phone.  Is it a ghost? I don't know.  So far, I've managed to accidentally call two people.  I hate that it called my friend in another time zone who was still fast asleep when I butt-dialed him - or as I like to call them, booty calls.  To top it off, I was singing, "Hey Jude" in the car because I had just responded to a tweet from the grumbles about her adorable baby, Jude. Three bars into the song, I look over and see the face of my friend on my phone and instantly realize that he has been called without my knowledge and not only had to wake up to answer the phone but he had to listen to my singing on top of it. Poor guy.  Since there is no way in hell I want this phone calling other people I shouldn't even be drunk texting, I changed certain names in my phone so that the alphabet would once again be on my side.  Those touch screen sensors are out of control and my sister's name is one letter off from CP's name and I don't trust the sensors.  I would rather listen to hardcore screamo music while chewing glass and sipping on a drain-o cocktail than accidentally calling CP, thinking it was my sister and then trying to explain myself.

Speaking of which, about 24 hours after I had the phone, all of these old text messages from CP from earlier this year - you know, back when I was failing to conceive - popped up.  Pour a little salt in the wound why don't ya, T-Mobile.  I don't know where those texts were stored on my SIM card but they were the last things I wanted to read today. Glad you've got jokes, T-Mobile. If you want to sing out, sing out and if you want to piss off, piss off. For a second, I thought I had woken up from a really shitty dream and realized that the past year was about to be a giant do-over because I saw the future and now I could go back and change the past.  This phone is good, but it's not THAT good.

I'm in communication overload, though.  This phone was made for social networking which for me, is normally  pretty great.  When you send Twitter updates or change your Facebook status, your smiling face is on my home screen.  I kind of like that.  Except...it loads ALL of your Twitter and Facebook friends into your address book.  Um, yeah.  I guess I look pretty awesome when Dooce or Joel McHale are listed in my contacts but it's all a sham.  In order to delete them from my address book I have to delete them from my life and that's not happening.  The fact that I can download unlimited ringtones and wallpapers for free makes up for it.  So does the Photoshop app.  However, I have yet to decide if the app for keeping track of my "lady days" is really necessary.  Unless it's going to go out and buy me tampons, I'm pretty much not downloading it.