Drunk Texts

I just found a portion of my post, Booty Calls, listed on another website called www.drunktext.net.  I'm not exactly sure how this website works but I think it trawls the internet for phrases like "drunk texting" or "you stupid moron, don't do a shot and then text your ex."  I can't figure out how it works but who cares?  I've made a fine mess of myself by drunk texting and such.  I consider this an honor of the highest esteem. 

I'd like to thank my exes for providing me with the anger and resentment to fire off retarded emails/texts that are so good that they last a lifetime.

Also, I have to thank my BFF for encouraging the texts that usually start off with a jagerbomb and the taunting line, "It'll be fun."

To Sister Potato Head... I freaking love your drunk texts so keep 'em coming.  Especially the misspelled ones.

To T-Mobile for giving me the freedom and the 3G network that allows me to ruin my reputation.  Where would I be without you? In a healthy relationship I suppose.

Above all else, I give thanks to God for blessing me with a smart mouth and the ability to wear my drink and my heart on my sleeve.

Oh...they're cutting me off.  I hear the orchestra so I have to make this quick.... www.drunktexts.com, if you're making a drunk texting app, I will gladly allow you to advertise on my blog.  I'll be your spokesperson - complete with testimonials.

Jerry Maguire -My agent -  You are my ambassador of Kwan.